Blue Light

Darkness to the right,

Darkness to the left

Quiet, stillness, contemplation

A place we’ve all been

Respite from the day’s duties

Rejuvenate, prepare for another day

Blue light before me

The constant companion

I could sleep, I should slumber

Once again, it escapes me

Neck on pillow, back comfortably resting

Mellow music meant to lull me away

Faint sounds of him sleeping near me

Warmth of protection covers me

The scene is set as it should be

A ritual of sorts known to all

Blue light still shining

The constant companion

I could sleep, I should slumber

Once again it escapes me

This dance in the dark

Knowing it will not allow

What my mind and body require

Words begin to form in my mind

I feel the thoughts illuminate

Wanting to be expressed

The blue light still shining

The constant companion

I could sleep, I should slumber

Once again it escapes me

Musings and Concerns

Some things I’ve really thought about. I don’t take my decisions lightly. We all want to get back to some kind of normalcy, but need each others’ help to do so. Just some other things I’ve questioned:

*What’s in that heart dewormer peeps are taking for Covid prevention?
*What’s in our processed food that so many often eat? It sure tastes good in many cases.
*What’s in or on our fruit and veggies that we often eat, organic or otherwise? Am I spending enough time cleaning them? I really love fruit!
*What’s in a polio vaccine and how often do I see it today?
*Why don’t I see measles more today? I remember it was different when I was a child.
*What’s in cancer meds that help so many get a second chance at life? It’s rough, I hear.
*What’s in the flu shot that has made my arm sore, but helped me not get a flu or serious respiratory issue for many years, even having an auto immune disease? I used to get them over and over in my earlier years, even as a child.
*What’s in the meds that I’ve taken for years to help me live a good life with Scleroderma when it could be so much worse?
*What exactly is in Tylenol that helps me feel a little bit better when my body or head aches?
*Why did peeps die so young before the 20th century? They often looked much older back then in pics I’ve seen.
*Why do so many women go to a hospital to have their babies now? They didn’t always.
*Why am I’m seeing death around me and then hearing peeps were unvaccinated, but could have been?
*Why am I seeing my friends and family so grief stricken? It’s all around lately.
*Why are peeps screaming freedom and liberty over a health and safety issue?
*Why is it a Trump or Biden, Republican or Democrat, Christian or not, Buddhist or Muslim… Do I really feel so correct in my convictions that I refuse to consider other points of view? Have I ever been wrong in something I once believed strongly?
*Why do peeps argue about our founding fathers’ ideas, but not see that Church and State are separate or meant to be?
*Why did the men in planes scream, “Allahu Akbar,” when taking over a plane and killing so many on Sept. 11? They certainly felt they were doing God’s work and I do not hate all Muslims because of these few.
*Why can I see love and goodness in individuals of all types, skin color, beliefs, ethnicities… when other hate so easily?
*Why are people so afraid of others that may look or act different, enough to create violence over it?
*Why are sports and entertainment peeps paid so much, valued so highly, when people with real value to our growth like teachers, speech therapists, autism specialists, road construction workers, nurses, and more not? Who has been really vital in society through the years, not to mention the pandemic?
*Why are parents and friends in the stands at their kids’ sporting events using foul language and fighting amongst themselves when sports are meant to teach teamwork and discipline?
*Why is it so important to keep the rich rich and the poor poor? Is there a way to combine capitalism with a bit of socialism to pull people up from poverty and dead ends? Heck, I love money, nice things, vacations… I would not be able to enjoy it all and see others suffer, however. I know I can’t help everyone, but even today, I give what I can and still live a great life.

Yes, my thoughts have gone all over the place. I just have such trouble understanding some things, but I do research, ponder, ask…

I know I will die one day. Everyone does. There’s no getting around it. Life is short. How I spend my time here – value, love, respect, empathy, compassion, understanding, purpose – is what I focus on. What more can I really do?

I may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I know in my body and soul, I am a good person who cares. I try to understand, but some things make no sense to me. That’s all.

Against the Wall

Deep yearning yet nothing but disappointment

Anxious to serve others and be of use

Still lonely patiently waiting

Not to be forgotten, rather benefit

Against the wall you sit

Sleek, lean, quiet, and sturdy

The color of night, jet black with no fading

No wear, shiny still, small particles of dust

In a forever sleep waiting to be awakened

Memories of excitement when new

The switch would be moved to on

Progress shown in bright illumination

Firm but comfortable seat,

Pedals to fill each foot

Cables strung throughout,

Handles for arms, so much potential

Drips of sweat would enlighten

Smells not a problem and expected

The comfort of heavy breathing sounds

More energy a desired result

Not made for hanging an unworn mat

Space not perfect as it seems for the roller

Looking new in purposeful anticipation

This beautiful machine on cold tile

So why still sitting, this heart rate helper

Not a piece of furniture, nor a place to forget

Goals can be set, success a new feeling

If only this beautiful bike would emerge again!


Wow, it’s been awhile! I have been living my life with family, friends, crafting, napping, exercise, food logging, watching British mystery and crime shows, Netflix, Prime Video, and Covid fears! I have to say I do enjoy the freedom of retirement, but do try to keep busy.

I suddenly felt the desire to write and check in with my blog. I haven’t written poetry or anything for close to a couple years. I just didn’t feel it. Do I now? Yes, but I am again unsure about my focus. I have had several blogs through the years, each with some kind of focus. This will take some thought. Do I feel like writing poetry, personal news, stories, what?

I will be leaving for Book Club in a few minutes so I will end here and come back a bit later. In the meantime

Be happy and safe!

The Girls

The Girls
Copyright May 3, 2020

The faces, after years passed
Anxious to reconnect
Stories to tell, life moves fast!

Shoots me back like a boomerang
Memories of who we were
As if a sound in my head, a clang!

The days were fun and special to some
Able to maneuver through with ease
Others not so much wishing for better days to come!

Nothing matters now that we talk and laugh
Old jealousy seems so idiotic
Each one, struggled in her way, a lifetime on file!

I see these girls now
Admiring each as she shares
A desire to resuscitate old friendships
Knowing that is was all for naught
Today I know we all really love and care!

So fun, seeing these girls again
Laughter and lunch plans, many things in common
No doubt, no insecurity, just strong awareness
Each one of us blossomed into a beautiful woman!

Never Enough

The irony
Kindness, tolerance, love for others
Struggle with own acceptance

So easy to find interest, humor, beauty elsewhere
While beating up oneself
Never enough, must do better

The fears
Seeing strength through the years
Yet frightened by fading youth, obvious change

Knowing the clock is ticking, fatigued by it all
Still there is a push, even a pull
To live fully, to feel true quality

The inner beauty
Years building strength, learning to love
To fully appreciate the growth

One day, smiles abound
Awareness of sweet soul and desire
Another, frustration and maddening weariness

The fight
For purpose, importance, health
Secure of a memorable existence, a legacy

Whom is it for? Me? Others? The Lord?
Imaginary need, undeserving insecurity
Or just human nature to seek?

The days
Do not cease, no stopping the clock
Cannot go back, impossible to redo

Time for respite, justified awareness
Emotional hole full, knowing real worth
Just too long, this struggle

No more never enough

Bad Day


lying here, no energy

body broken and battered, reminding me today

choking on numerous meds taken too quickly

wanting only to get them down

normally smiling acceptance of the struggle

nothing but frustration this beautiful Sunday

                      stay positive; be an example for others; trials make one stronger

this too shall pass

the walls feel too close these hours

squeezing life from this soul

overwhelmed with attempts at hiding

watching the world pass by

the fatigue that grounds me; visiting now

realizing it is temporary, aware of the crash

you can get through this; depression not an option; fight and be tough
this too shall pass

not a good day for chronic illness; temporary and fading
rest without guilt; allow the body to heal; recovery
this too shall pass

photo credit:×314.jpg

Our Boo

Sugary treats always deliver a smirk
Crunchiness provides noise in quiet
Breakfast bars wake the sleepy
Bats, skeletons, witchy distractions

Warmth and luxury for chilly toes

Words of wisdom and affection
Ramen noodles rapidly boiling
Glow in the dark molded fangs

Delicious cookies reminiscent of home
Popcorn, addictive, sweet, and salty
Thick gloves comfort the digits
Spider webs entangled throughout

The bird has flown the nest
Young boy in some ways, man in others
Searching independence, growth, and experience
Still needing reassurance and connection

Halloween Care Package on the way!

photo credit:

A Genuinely Charming Death


by Niecy

Wind rumbles wildly through the trees
Branches graze and scratch the stuccoed walls
Leaves drunkenly stagger from concrete to mulch
Enjoying the last of freedom before certain demise
Fall has come – a genuinely charming death

Colors change rapidly green to yellow, orange, and red
A beautiful mosaic announcing transition to all
Eyes feast on visions of pumpkins, apples, and hay
Magnificent, colorful photos etched in our minds
Fall has come – a genuinely charming death

Familiar and pleasant scents seduce noses
Memories of family and gatherings abound
Pumpkin, apple, maple, sweet potato pie
Tease and excite the young and the old
Fall has come – a genuinely charming death

Sweaters, boots, hats, and gloves
Once again make an annual appearance
As warmth pivots to crisp coolness
And all prepare for another year’s end.
Fall has come – a genuinely charming death

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